What has happened in family(s) seems to be a very common result of a parent remarrying following the death of their spouse. Most of what I have read deals with the difficulties following remarriage. 

A common statement deals with adult children, and there seems to be no correct answer. The difficulty has been for everyone, but mostly the difficulties lie with adult children. And the question has been, ‘how long should I wait?’ What is known is simple, ‘there would never have been a ‘right time.’

The argument has rested on biblical answers found in two of Paul’s letters; 1 Timothy 5 and then in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9. And Jesus counsels us in Matthew 18:15 to have discussions with others and to forgive, too. He also says that we are to speak with fellow Believers and to seek God’s counsel and blessings. 

Paul makes it very clear that a widow is permitted to remarry.  In fact in some cases the Bible actually encourages it and he writes, “SoI want younger women to marry, raise children, and manage a household, in order to give the adversary no opportunity to vilify us. For some have already wandered away to follow Satan.” 1 Timothy 5:14-15. 

However, the children of the deceased often have a hard time accepting the fact that their mother or father is capable of loving more than one person.  The tension is very common and for the children it seems disloyal for their parents to remarry – even years later.

In Matthew 18:15 Jesus teaches us to have one-on-one discussions with fellow Christians when there are disagreements. We should have an open, loving discussion with your children in which you explain to them that marrying again does not mean we love one another any less. The bottom line is we all need to get over it.  Life goes on and we all need to make the most of every day God gives us. I will not help them by pampering or catering to their objections. Objections should not be rewarded.

This is not a matter of competition but a matter of the need for companionship and living in different chapters of life. We need to trust the Word of God and live the abundant life our Lord has provided for us.  

Paul writes in Romans 14: 8-12, “If we live, we live for the Lord; if we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. For this reason Christ died and returned to life, so that he may be the Lord of both the dead and the living. But you who eat vegetables only—why do you judge your brother or sister? And you who eat everything—why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to me, and every tongue will give praise to God.” Therefore, each of us will give an account of himself to God.”

We do not have to be separated. Yes, we have made choices to live in a new chapter of life and the hope is for everyone to allow what has transpired. Please make your choices to be pleasant.

After all is done everyone will stand before the Creator, “When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity. For God will bring every act to judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil.” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14.

Jesus is Lord.